My period is 2 days late and somehow deep inside I’ve had suspicions I might be pregnant. When I got the pregnancy test from the chemist though I suppose I really didn’t expect it to be positive. I did and I didn’t somehow at the same time.
Deep inside me I desperately wanted the test to be positive…….all week I’ve been thinking about babies and I seem to have gotten this desperate urge to have kids. I walked past a book store and I was looking at baby books and I nearly even bought a baby name book. Why? That was stupid I thought, I was a LONG way off having kids.
So I thought.
A faint line on the test appeared nearly immediately and I stood there shaking as it slowly got darker. All I could say was “oh my god”. At that stage I was quite excited although also knowing that now is a bad time to have kids. Still, all the hormones in my body seem to have been preparing me for this and while the timing is really bad, I know everything else is right. It’s with the right person. I feel proud to be carrying Alex’s baby.
The timing just sucks.
I also know there is no way I could abort this child without good reason (such as a medical reason). Not when everything else is right. The instinct, desire and hormones are just to strong to consider not having this child.
I never quite imagined this happening to me.